Eighth grade was pure disaster. I
knew we had to do something. I had a good friend who felt inspired to
bring me a book on ADHD in Teenagers and legal ways to get schools to
cope with and help these children. We went to the principal, ready to
make changes. However, the school could never get all the teachers
together or the teachers were there without a counselor, there were
hundreds of excuses. We talked with the school board and they assured
us this was possible, but we did have to meet with this entire board
of people and we felt they were giving us the runaround. We tried
getting to the teachers individually, however, without the proper
meetings, they said they couldn’t adjust the requirements or even
the consequences of late work, tardiness, amount of work, etc. The
vice principal seemed to almost enjoy our frustration. Almost daily,
I got a phone call from him that Todd had been tardy or caused a
disruption or skipped school. The school had labeled him a 'bad' kid
and nothing we could do would change that. The cherry on top was when
Todd was called in by the vice principal for a really disruptive
event that involved being crude to another person. We would not stand
for that, but thus far, that was totally out of character for Todd.
Well, sure enough, it wasn’t Todd, but he had already been dragged
out of class, been embarrassed and once again felt worthless.
ADHD Times 8
I am a mom of eight children. Two daughters and 6 sons. When I went to find some help for my number six child, The therapist said this; "I am surprised you can even smile because I believe all your children have ADHD but this one has severe ADHD!
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Busy, Busy, Busy
As Todd got older, his daily life
threatening occurrences got fewer. Not gone but fewer. We noticed other things. It was
harder for him to focus on homework or read anything required for
school. His action versus consequence ratio seemed to get worse. We
tried to keep him busy. Just like every doctor encouraged and every
book we read. He played club soccer, he played baseball (which was
hard because he lost focus) but he enjoyed the time, he started
skateboarding, snow boarding and anything else he could get him
involved in. We were less concerned that he pass all his classes with
A’s, but that he was busy and happy.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Home School Dilemma
I went back to thinking that next
year, I would home school. I couldn’t stand that everything the
books said was true. These children are constantly told they aren’t
good enough, not up to par and always in trouble. John encouraged me
to give it one more year and then we could decide. We made a request,
actually more like a demand, for a teacher and we got him. This
teacher was very impressed with Todd because he was an athlete and
Todd played for the same soccer club team that the teacher's son
played for. He also spent a lot of time outdoors with his class. This
was awesome for Todd. The more physical activity Todd had, the
happier he was. He also had an reward system, not a punishment
system, that motivated Todd. We were so relieved.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Teachers Really Don't Get It
The next few years were difficult
at best. We tried to work with the teachers and the principal but to
no avail. They told me to medicate him. I was at the school
constantly. One problem that seemed to define a lot of the issues of
school happened in the fifth grade. The class was assigned to make a
map of the United States which involved tracing a huge shape of the
US and then cutting out individual states, gluing them on and
labeling the state and capitol. Todd worked hard to do this
assignment. I was so
impressed with him. Todd put his heart into it and spent hours (which
was almost impossible) to complete it. He was so excited the day it
was due. A few days later he came home devastated. He had received a
C. He didn’t understand why and frankly neither did I. Everything
was correct. It wasn't pretty but all the information was there, even
if it was messy and rumpled. I was furious. I wanted the teacher to
have some idea of how this affected Todd. We set up a meeting and she
told us that it wasn’t “A” work. She then proceeded to show us
the maps of an “A child”. I begged her to understand that even if
it wasn’t neat and perfect, that if she understood how long Todd
had worked on it and how excited he had been, that the self esteem
for Todd was devastating. Wasn’t there any way to up his grade,
because he had done it correctly. She simply didn’t understand.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
What a Disappointment
Third
grade was a huge disappointment. We handpicked our teachers. We had
two teachers that team taught and they had taught all our previous
five children. We went in and talked to them up front and said that
if they thought Jim, David and Rick had been a little busy and had a
hard time focusing then Todd was going to be an even greater
challenge. After just a couple of weeks, we were so disappointed when
they told us that they didn’t want Todd in their class anymore. I
knew these are the things and the comments that make these children
lose their self esteem and cause them to believe that they are no
good.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
First & Second Grade
First
grade was more challenging. I had refused up to this point to tell
the school about his ADHD. I heard horror stories of how schools
would force your child to be on medication or they couldn’t come to
school. I didn’t want that label to be with him through school.
After some very long talks and a lot time spent in the classroom, the
teacher became more sympathetic. We made a deal, though. I could
usually tell in the morning if it was going to be a bad day and on
those days, Todd just stayed home with me. Once he got to school, if
things didn't seem to be going well, she would call and I would bring
him home.
Second
grade was amazing. We were blessed to have the best teacher in the
world. First, she loved Todd and that is half the battle. She had
very little difficulty and Todd adored her. I often told people if
they could just get to know Todd and if they loved him, none of the
other stuff was as important. She used very positive discipline
techniques and never once had to call me at home. Todd loved school
and I begged her to just keep changing grades right along with Todd.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Starting School
I had
dreaded the day that Todd would go to school from the moment he could
walk. John and I talked for hours on whether we should home school or
not. I didn't want Todd getting negative reactions from teachers who
weren't willing to give him a chance, yet I thought it was critical
that he learn to respect other adults, not just Mom and Dad. I also
knew from dealing with teachers and school administrators with our
older children that the public school system is designed for the
masses. They have round holes and handle round pegs just fine.
However, if your child was a square peg, it could be a frustrating,
painful process trying to get them to fit in. I knew that it was
going to take very tender teachers and that I would be very involved.
I thought kindergarten couldn’t be too hard and it actually wasn’t.
The biggest problem for Todd was anytime he sat down and stopped
moving, he fell asleep. For some reason, the teachers didn’t seem
to mind.
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